Why do I do this?

Wow!  I think that I should be committed.  Maybe to an insane ward with a bunch of folks who can't talk.  Or maybe I could become Amish-Oh the life of simplicity.  No worries in the world.  Just me and my simple family.  I could run away to another state; maybe the beach or Colorado where the horses run.  Alaska and I would work very well together.  We are both so cold and the sun only comes up a few hours every day. Or at least that's what i am told.  Maybe a little city on the out skirts of Rome, where spaghetti is a side order and red wine is a main course.  Italian food is amazing!  That EatPrayLove movie has me thinking some crazy thoughts today.  Thoughts of running away from the status-Que and expectations of everyone around me.  I am suppose to be the strong, silent, caring person who never fails, complains, or hurts people.  Instead I am an insane, inconsistent, paranoid, overreacting well spoke basket case that can't keep her mouth shut.

So I am sure that no one has any idea what the heck I am talking about.  Last night I walked out on my husband.  I packed my bag and I left.  I had no where to go and nothing to do.  But I was so angry that I just left.  Not sure what I was thinking but I guess walking out the door had some kind of appeal to me at the moment.  Stupid idea.  I have a life with this man.  I have responsibilities.  Just because I leave him doesn't mean I get away from all those responsibilities. That doesn't register in my brain for some reason.  Now my husband is telling me he can't take this back and forth anymore.  duh dumb ass-you leave a man once he will forgive you, but do it 15 times and he kinda gets sick of dealing with the bull.  I think I may have ruined everything over an unrealistic view of life.

Yep I am between a rock and a hard place.  So my solution=running away vacation time.  I have decided that for this long weekend; Hubby, me and son will be going to the beach.  The catch?  There will be NO cell phone usage all weekend.  We will check our voice mails once a day to insure everything is OK and no one back home needs us.  Quiet time with just me and my family.

Wish me luck!